Wives/girlfriends + Metal

[Satannick]

Well, now on a different perspective, I'm a metalhead woman, dating a semi-metalhead guy. We share our deep love for doom metal and 80's style metal, but I also enjoy more extreme stuff, while he also largely enjoys country and folk. I listen to my own bands at work mostly, on headphones, and he listens to his stuff when I am not around. We are very content that way, althought sometimes my stuff makes him quite aggressive... haha. I remember once I put on Warning's Watching from a Distance LP while having supper... he kind of toughed it for a few songs, and then couldn't take it anymore and just semi-violently closed the damn thing.

On the collecting part, he doesn't really understand why I want some albums in double sometimes (let's say, I have the CD - but also buy the LP... sometimes at insane prices), but it's my money anyway, so everything is cool as long as it doesn't get problematic with bills and all.

I consider myself very lucky to be with a guy where I can connect in such ways anyway! It rules!

[Piotr Sargnagel]

Haha Satannick - nice to hear it from the other side. But I gotta say - I wouldn't put on Metal if we were eating together - she's kill me I think! But the best invention ever is headphones and a zine to bury yourself in and not get bothered or bother the other person.

[Rick]

I am a fortunate guy. My wife loves Metal, loves going to gigs and even supports my vinyl purchases! She's been mainly into Black Metal since about '91, but she also loves traditional Heavy Metal. Not much into Thrash though, unlike myself, but I find myself to be really lucky all the same. She even drives us back from the gigs and so on. It's really great!

[Korgüll]

My wife was into metal/hard rock when she was younger. Her fave bands were Scorpions, Bon Jovi, Thunder, Triumph, Coney Hatch, Ratt, Cinderella, VH, Led Zep etc..
but these days it's mostly alternative stuff she likes, or Pink or MGMT or whatever..??

I think, that now she is a mother & wife, that maybe she thinks it's all a bit immature these days??
She doesn't like most of the stuff I'm into & sometimes cans me for it.

But, occasionally when we go for a day trip somewhere I will make sure to bring something different to listen to in the car, she tends to like the odd thing every now & then.

On the other hand our four-year-old sons loves Maiden, Def Leppard, Twisted Sister and whatever else I play him
..but this concerns me when he gets older. As I remember I hated most of the music my father listened to! So hopefully he doesn't turn into some faggy dance DJ idiot!

[Satan is Our Pal]

Ditto Korgull, my partner was into Green Day, Offspring etc but tends to listen to commercial muck these days. I've converted her to a few bands, Danzig, Candlemass, Scarab and she loves the Trader 7" for some bizzare reason.

I can buy what I want to be honest, she doesn't give two shits, she doesn't like the early Carcass sleeves, very strange looks when I exhumed them.

[Khnud]

My fiancee likes Nightwish, Within Temptation and bands like that. She also listens to a lot of radio crap that I don't like. But since I listen to a lot of obscure stuff she doesn't care about, it equals out in the end. We respect each others tastes totally. We do tend to loudly slate bands the other person listens to, but in a friendly way. It's almost like a sport.

Plus, she volunteered to watch my ebay auctions for me, while I was away at KiT.

[Detest Records]

I don't live the Metal lifestyle either - very rarely go to gigs or whatever.

I'm wondering what do you mean by "living the metal lifestyle". I guess it doesn't only refer to going to gigs, etc.

Thanx for your attention!

[sagrotan]

my wife doesn't appreciate metal at all.. which means in occasionally tense moods, it could happen that she snaps at me because of "that stuff you hear" , especially when played at breakfast or dinner - but to be honest I can remember only 3 such occasions in about 7 years and the records were Rage - Execution Guaranteed, Savatage - Hall of the Mountain King (couldn't stand the voice she said ) and some Running Wild - Branded or Exiled or Gates to Purgatory..

thing is she didn't know me in my "metal years" back then and when metal came back maybe implying some kind of midlife crisis she probably thought wtf was going on and still doesn't understand..

from time to time I approach to convert her to at least some stuff - say when listening to the first Black Sabbath and thinking like for god's sake - NOBODY can listen to this without shivers running down their spines so she MUST like it.. but without remarkable success I must say.

there is still plenty of accordance in other genres we both like, mostly indie stuff so most of the time we get along quite good.

only element of "metal lifestyle" I hang on to is wearing metal shirts and that she can't understand as anybody else but doesn't bother me neither. and I don't care much anyway - the few metal gigs I attend I'm going alone so that is not an issue.

[Korgüll]

Savatage - Hall of the Mountain King (couldn't stand the voice she said )

Even my wife likes 'Strange Wings'!

[mordred]

The only bands my girl has expressed liking in are Virgin Steele and Skyclad.

I can only remember one time in six years she has lost it and told me to turn that shit off. That was when I had the brilliant idea of listening to 'Pleasure to Kill' while having breakfast.

[Black Axe]

I can only remember one time in six years she has lost it and told me to turn that shit off. That was when I had the brilliant idea of listening to 'Pleasure to Kill' while having breakfast.

Classic mistake, Pleasure To Kill is something you listen to before breakfast.

[Piotr Sargnagel]

I don't live the Metal lifestyle either - very rarely go to gigs or whatever.

I'm wondering what do you mean by "living the metal lifestyle". I guess it doesn't only refer to going to gigs, etc.

Thanx for your attention!

Metal lifestyle implies posters on walls, wearing Metal clothing and accessories (I do wear band shirts, leather jacket, but not always), Venom flags , lots of gigs, Metal parties... And I very rarely listen to Metal when the other half is in the house, except if it's Black Sabbath, Motorhead or that type of thing!

[Piotr Sargnagel]

she doesn't like the early Carcass sleeves, very strange looks when I exhumed them.

my one has never seen the Carcass sleeves. The worst was the Dead suicide pic - she didn't like that at all.

[Helm]

My current girlfriend is very courteous with my HM habits and I've played some things for her - just so she could get to know me - which she found variably interesting or not so much but I don't think anything actually impressed her or affected her in a very positive way. I try to keep the HM out of her way and stick to listening to ambient when she's at my place, since it's excellent background music to whatever a couple might choose to do. I wouldn't want to play HM as background music anyway because I prefer attentive listens, be it solitary or not and you can't force that sort of thing on your partner. I have in the past been with a girl that had a deep understanding of HM and we sat and listened to long playlists of wonderful things and discussed them. I think having had that experience with one person, I'd actually prefer not to have it again. It's part of that memory and I don't think there's any point to go on trying to find variations of the same person.

Alter apars, I try to be attentive and interested in whatever types of music the person I'm with is into and often I find their attitudes towards whatever it might be, from dark wave to electro or whatever else are comparable to the attitude of the metalhead in that they're based on nuanced knowledge and enthusiasm, and who doesn't like these things? I'd discuss any sort of music with an enthusiast even if I had no interest in it on the abstract.

[Buried By Time and Dust]

my problem with girlfriends and Metal was that they always were pissed because my level of spending on Metal Records/cd's always outweighed(by a huge margin) what amount of money I spent on them. hence me being single today