Wives/girlfriends + Metal

Piotr Sargnagel · Post by **Piotr Sargnagel** » Thu Apr 30, 2009 9:59 am

Ok I just noticed it there that some poeple here have wives/girlfriends who don't like Metal. My fiancee likes the occasional bit of Black Sabbath, Motorhead and Slayer but that's VERY occasionally and the rest of the time she really dislikes Metal so I actually don't play it when she's at home. How do other people on the board deal with this situation if it arises at all? Has it caused friction in relationships? Has it been a case of "it's either me or the Metal"? Has listening to Metal been blamed for bad moods? Or do you just get ridiculed for listening to it? - "That's so juvenile, how can you like that crap?"

Has this thread been posted before??

Opinions and anecdotes would be appreciated!

mordred · Post by **mordred** » Thu Apr 30, 2009 10:12 am

My girlfriend doesn't like metal and I don't care for the music she's listening to. Still, I play my music all the time and she plays hers all the time. No conflict, no friction, just mutual respect. We both need our music to be happy - I like when she's happy, she likes when I'm happy.

Destrozer · Post by **Destrozer** » Thu Apr 30, 2009 10:43 am

My wife does not like Metal but for me it's not really a problem. She listens to a lot of good Russian Rock (DDT, Splin, Smyslovyje Galusinatsij, Zemfira, Mashina Vremeni, Mummij Troll', Brainstorm), which I like a lot. She likes Aria and some other melodic stuff, plus some commercial Rock/Metal that everyone likes.
I would lie if I said that she does not think that the whole Metal thing is pretty childish and all that, but since I don't look like Lemmy and I don't like beer, or live the Metal lifestyle, it is not a problem.

Piotr Sargnagel · Post by **Piotr Sargnagel** » Thu Apr 30, 2009 12:02 pm

Good replies! I suppose the thing is that I do like other types of music apart from Metal and it is usually up to me to be the DJ when we are at home. The problem as I see it is that her music listening is song-based and mine is album-based. We had a discussion about this recently, where I (almost) came to the conclusion that if an album only has one good song on it, it's not worth listening to (stupid idea, I know!). So she can stand one Metal song in a mix with other genres but not a whole album of, say, Iron Maiden. I have not bothered with trying Slauter Xstroyes or Jag Panzer (which I love but she mocked unmercifully when she heard it one day).

I don't live the Metal lifestyle either - very rarely go to gigs or whatever. It just feels like a part of my life that we can't enjoy together and because it is music and it is loud, it's difficult not to annoy someone who doesn't like it and thinks it is juvenile behaviour!

The Sentinel · Post by **The Sentinel** » Thu Apr 30, 2009 2:11 pm

All woman I know don't like it and if they say yes its only because I like it. As far as I know 99,9% of all woman don't give a rats ass about metal; well I don't care

Piotr Sargnagel · Post by **Piotr Sargnagel** » Thu Apr 30, 2009 2:30 pm

ha, good answer!

nightsblood · Post by **nightsblood** » Thu Apr 30, 2009 2:47 pm

Mt fiancee likes some metal, a few classics like ac/dc or a little Black Sabbath, but mainly more melodic power metal like Kamelot, Nightwish, Leaves' Eyes, Masterplan, Edenbridge, etc. I like most of those bands too, so if we're driving or listening at home, we stick to that stuff, and when I'm working/on my own I listen to other heavier/more obscure stuff that she's not into. We've gone to a few shows together and had fun; neither of us "live the lifestyle".

My concern has been more about collecting, as I do get kinda geeky about 80s metal vinyl and will on occasion bid relatively high for a record from my want list. This has not been a problem though; as long as the bills are paid and we're saving some money, she actually encourages me to go after my want list items when I find them

Gotta love a woman who tells you, "I think you should bid a little higher on that Hammer Witch EP"

Post by **DaN** » Thu Apr 30, 2009 3:12 pm

nightsblood wrote:Gotta love a woman who tells you, "I think you should bid a little higher on that Hammer Witch EP"

That's the most romantic thing I've ever heard.

Piotr Sargnagel · Post by **Piotr Sargnagel** » Thu Apr 30, 2009 3:16 pm

Haha it is! I've got to admit though, my better half was very against me selling any of my records recently when money was really tight so I think she knows that they're very important to me!

mordred · Post by **mordred** » Thu Apr 30, 2009 3:21 pm

Ha-ha, I remember once a few years ago when I was considering to buy a rare 7" at a very high price and was going forwards and backwards about it trying to make up my mind.
My girlfriend went "just buy the damn thing and stop whining about it!".

Keir · Post by **Keir** » Thu Apr 30, 2009 4:12 pm

My wife likes some commercial metal/hard rock. We've seen Scorpions and Iron Maiden together, and we're probably going to see Queensryche this summer. I made her a Scorpions mix CD that she listens to all the time (I love that she appreciates the 70s stuff because it shows that it is more than just nostalgic for her, as opposed to only listening to Rock You Like a Hurricane or Winds of Change). However, she thinks most of what I listen to is crap but that's OK. If she makes fun of Angel Witch then I just tell her how much John Mayer sucks.

My collecting obsession does bother her sometimes, but that has little to do with metal (it was a problem when I collected video games too). And as long as I don't let my inner metal nerd get in the way of being a husband or father then it's all good. Sometimes she'll even let me talk her ear off about some random obscure metal history that she couldn't give a damn about.

One thing that does make it hard for me to listen to my music is that after we get the kids to bed she will hear a high pitched scream and think it is Evie crying when really it's just King Diamond.

DTP · Post by **DTP** » Thu Apr 30, 2009 4:13 pm

my current gf likes metal, in fact when i first met her that's all she liked; it took a while to convert her to the other stuff i enjoy, so now she digs punk, old hc, anything druggy/drone-filled, etc a lot more now, but in the end metal's her main love, so i guess i lucked out there (and no, she isn't a troll

) her main obsession are weird cult films over music, which is dandy by me, since she's turned me onto many good titles.

it's not that important if a chick i'm into likes the same music i do, as long as she appreciates art in some form, whether it's music, movies or reading.

Piotr Sargnagel · Post by **Piotr Sargnagel** » Thu Apr 30, 2009 4:16 pm

Yeah I've been very lucky in that she is an arty type, loves horror films and good movies in general. She's also got me interested in certain art, something I had no interest in at all years ago. Now if I could just convert her to Anvil that would be cool!

nightsblood · Post by **nightsblood** » Thu Apr 30, 2009 4:52 pm

Keir wrote: One thing that does make it hard for me to listen to my music is that after we get the kids to bed she will hear a high pitched scream and think it is Evie crying when really it's just King Diamond.

It's all fun and games until she goes to check on the kids and finds an empty cradle rocking all by itself!

Some of my friends named their daughter Abigail and were thinking about getting a set of seven silver spikes to display just for fun

Down there... · Post by **Down there...** » Thu Apr 30, 2009 6:12 pm

my missus thinks Metal is pretty hilarious. Not into it at all, though does admit to liking a song or two. She's pretty open-minded though.