Ker-azy Ebay description!!!!!!

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Korgüll
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Ker-azy Ebay description!!!!!!

Post by Korgüll »

Here's an Ebay description I just stumbled upon for 'Venom-Manitou/Woman' 7in & thought needed to be shared with everyone to enjoy...

Yes...A great and satanically correct unique Hair-Swishingly-Pleasing-vinyled Picture of the Horned one Disckedified 666” ‘ed seven inched auction on the great V-E-Fkin-N-O-M with their aweseomely evil and downright scarily sinistre 7” Vinyl Single release (or did it escape?) of their classic WOMAN/MANITOU from the year 1984 and a full 23 years ago now..!
And also you get to grab 75 ‘Live Onstage’ Photo’s of Top-Notch early Gigs VENOM LIVE in 1984/1985 in Holland and the U.K. aswell thrown in for good Lucifariously-Horney-Diablo’ed metallic-measure too for you...! How nice is he...?
......Also check out my other VENOM 7” Early and rare Vinyl Auctions out right now (‘Bursting Out’ Flexi 1985 and ‘Die Hard’ 7” Pic 1984)...and also my other HM/Rock & Punky Rare Vinyl and cuttings auctions while you are here (Some with Photo‘s too..!!).
This 7” Metallic rarity comes with a Black Metallickized Warning...Lose this and you’ll be off Cronos’s Christmas Card list forever....Wimps…!

First its that great ‘MANITOU/WOMAN’ release by VENOM from back in the heady-days and Air-Guitar era of 1984 and it comes to you today, here and now...with these duo of great ear-meltingly scarey as an irate canary coupling of tracks upon being...

THIS SIDE’
(1) ‘WOMAN’

OTHER SIDE
(2) ’MANITOU‘

An awesomely Rare Satanically Powefulled-upnisittitifed Vinyl issue indeed as it comes to you the Blackeste Spawne that ever was as a…

SCAREY PICTURE DISQUE OF 666.67 PROPORTIONS…!

..bible bashers and Je-Hoovered-Up-Yet-Moshe’s are not welcome here methinkums at Behelzibubs Table of Red Velvet and a nice line of Ikea Po-Ang chairs too I might add – he’s got style if nothing else that Old Bearded guy…!
And also you get to grab a personally photographed collection of Venom Live photographs in the UK at Hammersmith’s Odeon of course over two years and also they played out in Holland so went to photograph them live in February 1984 and survived the photographers pit and stage show with just a sore forehead like I’d been hit by shrapnel during tha’ Warrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr (with Satan of course…!) and also front onstage shots of Venom Live at Hammersmith (TWICE..!) in 1984 and 1985 (..yes he survived!) – I own the total copyright of all these images and none, to date, have been seen by the general public – around 75 stunning photo’s live...you also acquire another 250 photgraphs of my Venom past and present Vinyl/CD collection..rare vinyls, & Limited Edition pressings (like my Green Vinyl Black Metal I will be selling soon – it might be out this auction) and flyers, Hammersmith (whole) Gig Programme, adverts, press cuttings, tickets, freebie (& handwritten!) early days Neat Records Stuff, foreign magazines, posters you name it - it’s probably on there…awesome..667 in a word…!

..An awesome collectible Rare Picture-Discked 7” ed vinyl here for you now with one-click of your Rockin’ eBay-mouse and it’ll be riffing it’s way into your Metal Mouse-Hole in a mere 10 days...!
Grab this copy of a colossal and brilliant Venom Vinyl-Single auction and what the devil are you waiting for now? – get bidding – you lot make me so 6-6-6 to the back teeth I tell ya and ta hell wiv ya...!!!

It was pressed up on the ‘NEAT Records' label bearing the Catalogue Number 'NEAT P43’.

...and the condition of the actual Vinyl is graded as ’EXCELLENT+’ – hey itsa picture disc (& a pant-bulging one at that – ooohhh hellup mutha..!!!!) – so quality is never that high on the agenda - (No Pops/Skips/Jumps/Scratches etc at all) ..The Single is in pretty great Horney-devilled condition (for a Disques Picturees) just a little background noise at the starts and ends - and plays so effortlessly it could play itself while it was asleep, in the dark, down a coal-mine, in wintertime, in Kazhakstan..!!!!

So, checkout the other VERY RARE VENOM Early Vinyl 7” ers etc I have for auction out at the moment...aswell as my other items up for auction I have out at the moment, including a whole heap of Rare HM and ROCK and Punk & Indie Vinyl and also some with Cuttings and also Live Gig Photo’s.
Whie here you get that awesome 666-Picture-disc and those Photographs and all the other Venom memorabilia bumped down to a c-d.r and packed in with your 12" incher here..!!

.....It may just seem too good to be true but I must insist this my friends...will blow your spandex-trarsers clean away...coz this one ‘Goes to 11‘....!!!
Heed The Golden Rule……….DIE HARD………..but it’s time to DIE HARDER NOW……!!!!!!!
You lot are such wimps aren’t you…!!!!!!

…If God Won’t Have You……………….Perhaps You Could Try The Holiday Inn - I Think They Have A Few Smaller Rooms Available At Short Notice, And They Are Very Clean Too – With En Suite And A Showerful Of Nubile Vestile Virgins Eager To Serve Your Every Demonic Whim And Beckon – They Come Highly Recommended…!!!

…If Satan Made eBay Auctions……He’d make them longer than the bible itshelf…. A behezeli-bubbli-kinned 666 length like this……!!!


:lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol:
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OmenOfSteel
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Post by OmenOfSteel »

ROOOOFL :lol: :lol: :lol:
We praise the blood that metal brings
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ION BRITTON
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Post by ION BRITTON »

Read it two times in a row... :lol: :lol: :lol: ...... :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol:
Good against Evil, Evil sure to win

"It really didn't matter if they liked it or not, i was going to give it to them straight down their throats" -John Stewart
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omen of hate
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Post by omen of hate »

Incredible !! :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol:
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OmenOfSteel
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Re: Ker-azy Ebay description!!!!!!

Post by OmenOfSteel »

Korgüll wrote: ... 7” Vinyl Single release (or did it escape?) ...
Classic! :lol:
We praise the blood that metal brings
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Korgüll
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Post by Korgüll »

Here's some more paragraphs from his other auctions... hilarious :lol: :lol: :lol:

An awesomely Rare Satanically Powefulled-trio-of-guitar-bombed vinyl indeed as it comes to you the Blackeste Spawne that ever was right now (Duck!)

…the condition of the sleeve is graded as ‘NEAR MINT’ such an awesome condition one – possibly THEE best one you WILL ever be fortunate to behold or maybe even physically hold some day!!! – here’s the pointless bit anyhow!!! - no bends, folds, rips etc either..!
...and the condition of the actual Vinyl is graded as ’MINT/Near Mint’ – If pushed I’d side with ‘MINT’ instead of Near Mint actually…as new will do here..!!! And now a Party Political Broadcast on behalf of the ‘Pointless 666 Grading’ initiative….”No Pops/Skips/Jumps/Scratches etc at all!”. (Thankyou and badnight!).

This Marshall-Stacked-Booming 1980’s offer of some eye-poppingly-superb early Live VENOM MONEV photographs (unique-to-this auction) from now 24-years back in 1983 - and also you acquire that 12" Single Metallic ‘Peel-your-face-away-from-it’s-godworshipping-bone’ triple-tracking BLACK METAWLLED 'ACID QUEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEENNNNNNN’ MONEV’s explosively-heavy-release and Ultra-Rare-Devillishly-Delicious-3-tracking vinyl-auction..!

…If Smart-Car Driving (backwards) Satan Made eBay Auctions……He’d make Them Self-Exploding (like this one – goodbye sucker!!!!) Like This……Take an Evil Pay Rise and head for this Warhead Face-To-Face and see whose the evilest of them all…apart from Rupert the Bear of course he’s 668 I reckon on Hughie Green Satan-o-Meter – “Ann Ah Meen Thet Mose Satansearlee Fowks!”!!!
…Looks like this auction isn’t gonna blow-up after all.…anyway S(a)tan make yerself useful….get the lawnmower out will you? – the grass could do with a short back-n-sides mayte…!
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Korgüll
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Post by Korgüll »

And for 'Voivod-War & Pain' ...AMAZING! ...great stuff!!!!! I'm lost for words... :lol: :lol:

Here it is finally after much hair-swishing and Metal-Citidals-of-Rock searching me denim-compadres of Marshall-Stack-Bustin-&-lovers of all thingies HEFTEY (&) ME(N)TAL...!

WATCH OUT….!!!!!!!!! It’s………….VOI VOD on 12-Inched L.P. (or 30 centimetres..."ooh look Morticia-Rock-Vixen he's just gone all metrically-technically insane..!") Heavy Metal Vinyl with their 'must-havey-and-must-havey-nowey' HM offering of their studded-and-bloodstained-leather-wristband release that goes by the name of 'WAR AND PAIN'...!

Yes indeedy you frothing-at-the-mouth-e-baying-amp-blowin’-HM-pack you (RAR…Oooh I am scared – I’ve got more chance of being scared of you lot than I am of hearing Manowar’s Sword Sing..!!!)…this is nothing more than a ear-burstin, beer-thirstin, mind-blowing, blind-mowing, right-down and frankly down-right VOI VOD-mongous auction on twelve incherized heftey-mentallists vinyl that's pure Guitar-Trashing-ified Lustfully-Fulfilling Drastique-Plastique with a dash of Mystique so come take a Pique (...someone shoot him - and quique..!!)

What you have here (…>>>…OVER HERE…!!!) that’s better...pay a-10-shun will you, you Spinal Tap kidz…is an 23 YEAR OLD

VOI VOD vinyl release of their 1984 42 minute-NINE-tracking smoulderingly magma-flow LP called 'WAR AND PAIN' in it's original picture sleeve too..!

Yes that's righty...It is here and is nothing less than the above offering from those purveyors of all things heftily-Metallic with those aural paving-slabs of Rock-a-Rama-Flying-V-Distortion-Bocks-Ding-a-Dongness..."If you can live without this Mettallick-Kollectible then you're a better woman than me", said my wife (incidentally she was half-right, uncharacteristically (normally she’s half-wrong), on both counts - but not on third count, shortly to come, of justifiable Heavy-Metal homicide...(“Do It…Do It..DO IT!!!).

Also, if the feeling takes you by surprise, please then by all accounts take your taken-by-surprised-Heavy-Metallized-self off and toddle-along in a Satanic-like heavy-metallised skipping manner (complete with attached Marshall-Stack-Wall-Of-Amps) and nosily check out my OTHER THRASH/METAL/HM AUCTIONS I HAVE OUT RIGHTEY-BOUTEY NOW(…Beep-Beep! - Watch the cars will you? – Heavy Mental Kidz with their guitar leads still hooked into the Marshall Stacks at home and crossing tut' bizzey-roads eh..!).

A dreamily-sexually-creemily-extreemerly rare copy, overtly so, of their ‘WAR AND PAIN’ LP that-you-must-clincher-from-Mr-Lyncher and it comes to you as a Fourtee-Too-Minuted-9-tracker-of-VOI VOD-lovely-lummified-jubbley-HM-mess-ness..!!!

...so welcome to the church of Metawl salvation my heathen-out-of-breath-brethren....do come inside my swishy-haired-imaginary-guitarred-HM-Rock-Flock....and listen to heavy-filled-psalm-widges like these...

IRON SIDE

(1) 'Voi Vod' (4:16)
(2) 'Warriors Of Ice' (5:04)
(3) 'Suck Your Bone' (3:30)
(4) 'Iron Gang' (4:15)
(5) 'War And Pain' (4:55)

BLOWER SIDE

(6) 'Blower' (2:42)
(7) 'Live For Violence' (5:11)
(8) 'Black City' (5:08)
(9) 'Nuclear War' (7:01)

I saw Voi-Vod Live in London in 1986/7 and they were awesome indeed like no other thrash band at all…loved their sound too…I think I have a few live shots the winning bidder can have via scans or whatever means they want..!!!

...a triffic Metallic-O’Riffically awesome pressing indeed and those songs sum up a great time and era of life way back in Metal-history when men were swordwielding and shielded-up and sheep were rightfully petrified out of their curley-woolen-jumpered-wits...!
Do you want this? - Is Satan catholic? or alcoholic? or melancholic? You betcha...!
So get on your Metal-Rockin-Hardly-A-Davidson and barge all the other wanna-be-owners of this soon-to-be yours, Haitch-Emmed 12 Inched LP from VOI VOD of their 'WAR AND PAIN' circular intenselically, seismologisticallyic and downright air-guitaringoriffically-piccaddilly circusly awesomely and dangerous heavy offering that will soon be metallically riffing (“…use the ‘Wang Bar’ Aunty Ethel”..!) into your eBay Marshall-Stackin-Kerrang-U-Tanged-mousehole in a mere 10-daze... !!!

...Life without this would be sad, lonely and desolate...like being down the front of a Steps gig....(..or possibly even worse than that – onstage with H & Claire – ooh he knows their names you know? …“Tray-Ter-Tray-Terrrr” – kill…kill…KILL (“Do It” –slight reprise – Maybe Judas Priestly were right you know?).
...contemplate not-not having this, it would be just like going into politicks or bungee jumping with no legs...it's just not to be done and you bloodey-well know it.
...gather this morsel of earthe unto ye...your sole savage breaste beates so verrye strong my friends for this eternale longinge and soul-merging of alle that you ever helde so deare...oceans-deep darque and hidden from alle...insyde of you...(...Crikey-mate it's onlee a Heavy-Mental record mate...!?!?!?!).


This Metallic-H.M-Molten-Lava-Flow of an L.P. was pressed up in ENGLAND on the ’Roadrunner' Records Label and comes to you, the Head-Banging-Cockney-Rhyming-Slanging-Rock Collectophile, with the (heavy) Catalogue Number of 'RR 9825'.

The Metal condition of the Hammersmith Odeon filling 'Sleeve' is graded as 'Excellent+/Excellent' - just very mild stress marks and mild handling signs, no rips, no tears, no folds, and no bends – it’s as superb as a drunken Lee Aaron mistaking you for her Heavy-Metal-Husband methinkum-yum-yumms...!

The Hammer-Onned-Fretboard-frenzied condition of the actual metal-grooved plastic 'Vinyl' is graded as 'Excellent+' - some background noise and that’s it - Stormingly immense condition...and this LP plays effortlessly, so effortlessly infact that I have found it often putting itself on the deck & I've not even known a thing about it...!

...and is thee most superb VOI VOD auction out right now (biased - ? – who schizophrentically unchallenged me...Hey! I think he means 'US'..! Oh yeah..!).

This ‘WAR AND PAIN’ you 'won’t-wanna-sharity-blare-ity-rarity' will rightfully attract mucho Heftey-Mental-interest, like an offshore bank account, or a broken down Ice Cream Van with an asleep driver in a heatwave in Reykavjik, or a naked supermodel trapped in your very own imaginary locked-phonebox, as there are only a few left in this world (naked supermodels that is – no, come to think of it I meant imaginary locked-phone boxes – they are always ringing and she never picks the handset up much these days – was that a metaphor phor-no-reason?) – in this condition .....!!!!

So be the King-Metal-Throned-ONE who has just Gibson-Flying-Veeingly-WON this Celestion-Speaker-Bustin-ONE in 10 Days time...!!
...now go and be a good Kerrang-U-Tangoed-Heavy Mentallist head-thrashing denim-wearing individual and get on that clickey-fingered-mouse-type-thingy-that’s always getting clogged up with dust ‘n’ dirt and never quite works properly to secure this gem as you’ll never see another (even if you don’t close your eyes – whilst sitting macho-like astride Hardley-Davids-Son).
...and be the lucky-one to nabbey-nabb this unique 'WAR AND PAIN' in the next 10 days, or failing that I WILL end the auction early if you offer me say the auction bid-price…to the power of 9003 or a signed-picture of Lee Aaron’s drunken Heavy-Mental-Husband in the nortey-naked-nuddey-wuddies.

It’s the most excellently Kerrang-U-Tangified Heftily-Me(n)tal auction on VOI VOD and Frankly Mr Spine-Shankley if you were to miss out on this 'WAR AND PAIN' H.M. Vinyl you’ll end up...SCREEEMING LIKE A BLOWURRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR….!!!!!
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ION BRITTON
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Post by ION BRITTON »

:shock:

Man, he wrote all these lines for ONE auction????


But he's great anyway!

:lol:
Good against Evil, Evil sure to win

"It really didn't matter if they liked it or not, i was going to give it to them straight down their throats" -John Stewart
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Korgüll
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Post by Korgüll »

ION BRITTON wrote::shock: Man, he wrote all these lines for ONE auction????
All for a $10 War And Pain record :D
BlackStele
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Post by BlackStele »

....HAHAHAHAHA....OMG... :lol: :lol: :lol: :roll:
Black signs on my monitor, great bitching and fake words, Avenger is here, the craziest "modest" of all modsss...FTOU!!
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The Sentinel
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Post by The Sentinel »

:lol: great stuff, apparently that guy has too much time :lol:
Long Live The Loud !!!
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mordred
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Re: Ker-azy Ebay description!!!!!!

Post by mordred »

Korgüll wrote:…If Satan Made eBay Auctions……He’d make them longer than the bible itshelf…. A behezeli-bubbli-kinned 666 length like this……!!!
I think he is actually Satan. :shock:
Chroming Rose “Pressure” LP found! :D
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